It was difficult you know. The feeling of weightlessness. I can feel myself revolving, twisting, turning, going around and around and around in circles, unsure of which way is up and which way is down. There is pain. And then there is silence. My eyes close, and I drift away to the sound of my heart, beating slower and slower and slower. Then, there is nothing.
In the limbo between consciousness and sleep, the pain fades away, and reality dulls. Actions that have brought me to this point in time, fade away, and all that is left is my imagination, finding new pathways that differ from my world dramatically. To create worlds and places and people and characters where I can lose myself in a crowd, to escape the world I lived in.
So, you know what.
It was my fault.